Restored - Ending Violence Against Women

Challenging people changes culture.

We can all recall people who have challenged us. Sometimes we don’t appreciate it at the time, but we can be thankful for everyone who has helped us to make better decisions or to change bad habits. To challenge other men requires courage. But isn’t that what we are here for?

Under First Man Standing, we hope for two main kinds of challenge between men:

Challenging to encourage
“Let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds …  encouraging one another..” Hebrew 10:24-25 (TNIV). We all need to be encouraged. Under First Man Standing we want to see men grow in their capacity to be good friends, good fathers, good boyfriends and husbands. How can you encourage other men in their relationships? Some ideas: 

1. Model these roles. Sons copy their fathers. If you love your wife and children, your sons will learn what it means to be a good husband. You may not realise how many other people also look to you as a role model. 
2. Be a good friend.  Many men are desperate for friendship. Be willing to pay the price of giving time to other men and encouraging them. 
3. Provide advice and challenge men to do better. We all need help in building good relationships. If you see someone who needs help in relating to their children, or to other adults, then talk to them and give them examples from your own experience.
4. Provide positive feedback. When you see someone doing something well, give them positive feedback.
5. Talk about the benefits of good relationships. Church leaders, and others who have a public platform, will have particular opportunities in this area.
6. Tell other men about First Man Standing and get them involved! 

Challenging to change 
“Among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality … nor should there be obscenity… or coarse joking” Ephesians 5: 3-4 (TNIV). Evil flourishes when good people remain silent. Our societies have become more and more sexualised and much abuse of women goes on unchallenged. The attitudes and actions of many men need to change. You can help by doing some of the following: 

1. Challenge the work obsession of many men that leaves them with no time for people and relationships. 
2. Challenge negative behaviour that you see in other men that is destructive to their relationships. 
3. Find a way of challenging sexist remarks and jokes (“I’m not with you there, mate”)Stand up against the display of pornography and other material that objectifies women.
4. Be willing to be different in a group of men and stand against a culture that supports lap dancing, use of prostitutes, pornography and other abuse of women.
5. Organise stag nights that do not involve the abuse or objectification of women.  
6. Challenge other men who speak about the abuse of women, whether by themselves or by others. 

It is amazing how one man, standing out against the prevailing culture, can change it. Most men don’t want to be involved in anything that hurts women. Speaking up about the issues and explaining the impact of people’s attitudes and actions really can change the culture of your workplace and family. As many men stand up in this way, first the nation and then the world can be changed.

Male accountability groups and individual one to one friendships provide excellent opportunities to challenge other men.  We would love to hear how you get on. If you have some stories to tell or good ideas to add to this section, please contact Peter Grant.